Janus

I have been writing poetry since I was in high school. I fell in love with Edgar Allen Poe, like most emo girls do. My boyfriend, at the time, encouraged my writing. He wrote a lot too and served as a great inspiration to me.

Poetry has always been a way of expressing emotions that I didn’t know how to voice outload. My poetry, much like my fiction, tends to be dark, raw and honest. It is the truest version of me. Below, is my poem entitled, Janus.

Watching but unseeing
Touching but unfeeling
Listening but not hearing
Showing but concealing

I am standing with you
But I am so distant
Nothing can reach me
This sensation consistent

Contact is numbed
Sound is muffled
Sight is blackened
I am unruffled

You so easily feel
And show your emotions
I wish I could comprehend
Instead of just go through the motions

You yell at me
You are crazed
You scream in my face
I am unfazed

You are so angry
I am unblinking
I never react
I just keep sinking

I don’t understand anger
Especially what you express
Emotions are pointless
They get in the way of success

So when you start yelling
And cursing and screaming
When you begin hitting
And the tears are streaming

I switch to my safety
An unfeeling facade
A beautiful mask
I could trick your god

Similar to Janus
My duality is true
What you see on the outside
Is completely subdue

One side is happy
Confident and smiling.
‎The other is cold,
Emotionless and dying

I don’t think I am going to provide explanation because I think it’s important to interpret it how you see fit. If you would like to talk interpretation, I would love to hear what you have to say. Feel free to message me on any of my social media platforms below. Also, if you would like to buy me coffee, that is linked below as well.

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