Choreographing Smut: 10 Tips for Writing Sex Scenes

First I would like to start with a disclaimer. This blog post is going to be 18+. It will contain adult content and somewhat explicit words/imagery. If this makes you uncomfortable in any way, please do not proceed. You can check out my other blogs, they are a bit more tame, yet informative. 

Also note that I primarily write mlm romance, but a lot of these suggestions work for all romance genres. I’ve written a variety of different types of pairings including mlm, flf, heterosexual, and threesomes. I have also written many different sexual situations and scenes including BDSM. That is a topic for a different day, though. If you would like to see a blog post about BDSM smut specifically, leave a like or come visit me on any of my social media platforms!  

I think it goes without saying that the amount of detail you put into your smut scenes is up to you and your target audience. If it’s erotica, I think a lot of detail is called for. I personally like a lot of detail anyway, but some people prefer to just focus on the emotional aspect rather than the physical. If you are one of those people, then that is perfectly fine and acceptable. 

Choreography

Keep in mind that writing smut is like choreographing a dance. I am not a dancer, but to me it is a similar concept. Smut is all about movement, knowing where the bodies are, how the limbs are moving, and the feeling you get from it. It’s about movements and shapes. The beat of their hearts serves at the rhythm for their bodies. It’s a dance between two people but they aren’t always doing the same steps or even listening to the same song.

Map The Scene

I know I say something like this in every single blog post, but it’s important to have a plan. I’m not saying you should know every detail, but I find it really helps me if I have a general idea of what is going to happen and sometimes why it needs to happen. This could be something as simple as knowing which positions I want them in while writing the scene. 

Why?

This isn’t always necessary, depending on the type of the smut that you’re writing. If you are just going for erotica, then it may not actually matter why, but if you’re writing a romance novel with a plot and character development, then the why will matter. Are they hate fucking? Is it make up sex? Is it the couple’s first time? Is one of them a virgin? Does one of them need to be comforted? If so, how does that change their dynamic in the scene?

The Five Senses

This is important when writing anything really, but it is especially important while writing smut. Don’t forget to use every sense. Do their lips taste sweet like vanilla or minty like toothpaste? Does their heartbeat sound erratic? Does their skin feel sweaty? Does their hair look messy or disheveled? Does the bed smell like them or does the room just smell like sex?

Clothes

This one sounds kind of ridiculous, but you have no idea how many times I’ve been reading a smut scene and suddenly they are both naked, but I have no idea how it happened. Don’t forget that they are probably wearing clothes in the beginning of the scene, even if it’s just underwear. If they are both fully dressed, don’t forget about the little things like socks and shoes. Those things don’t just disappear. It could be just something as easy as adding a line about how they both got fully undressed.

Surroundings

Very similar to clothes, as a writer, you cannot forget about their surroundings. Are they in a bedroom? Are the lights off? Did they need to turn them on? Are they in the bathroom of a nightclub? Describe these things. If they are in the bathroom of a night club, then things may be rushed, and you’ll have to describe things like the dull thud of the music. If they are in a bedroom, they can take their time. Does one of them have a condom? Are they using a condom? If not, has it already been established why? If you’re writing mlm, where is the lube? Do they have it in the drawer or in a packet in their pocket? If the writer forgets these things, it can be jarring for the reader. A condom doesn’t just suddenly appear on a cock. All it takes is a sentence to eliminate confusion.

Feelings

This could be both physical and emotional. If one of the people in the scene is a virgin, it may be painful for them at first. This experience is new for them, so you have to try to describe it from the point of view of someone who hasn’t ever had these experiences before. As far as emotional feelings go, that depends on where you are in the story and what was happening before the scene takes place. Just keep in mind where your characters are mentally as well as physically.

Dirty Talk

I love dirty talk, but write it only if you’re comfortable doing so. I think dirty talk makes the scene so much hotter, but I also try to keep it in character. If one of your characters is a virgin, then they may not dirty talk as much because they aren’t comfortable. Writing their reaction as the other person dirty talks is always fun though.

Don’t Rush It

Ultimately, it’s your choice on how detailed, long, and graphic you want the smut scene to be, but I prefer mine not to be rushed. I don’t think you should spend 15,000 words droning on and on about how his cock is throbbing, but don’t be afraid to write good, detailed smut scenes, especially if it is meant to be an emotional one. It’s not just about the physical act, but the emotional one as well. Yes, sometimes smut is just smut, but sometimes it needs to be more. Rushing it can take away from what sex is supposed to be: a connection with another person. 

Well that’s all I have for today. I could probably come up with more, but this is the foundation. If you would like, in future blogs, I can write tips for smut in different categories like public sex, quick and dirty, BDSM, long and loving, etc. I want to write what you think is helpful as a writer yourself. If you have any suggestions, you can email me or contact me on any of my social media platforms listed below!

Music Speaks: The Songs that Inspired Cool for the Summer

Music has always been a huge inspiration for me even though I wouldn’t consider myself an auditory person. For me, it’s the lyrical content that I find the most inspiration in. Each of my books has a playlist associated with them. In this post, I will discuss the songs that inspired my debut book Cool for the Summer. You will be able to find these playlist on both Spotify and Youtube. I will not talk about every single song on the playlist in this blog post, but the ones that really resonated with me.

Cool for the Summer- Demi Lovato

Lyrics: Take me down into your paradise
Don’t be scared ’cause I’m your body type
Just something that we wanna try
‘Cause you and I
We’re cool for the summer

Of course this one is on the playlist! It ended up being the book title, after all. I explained how this came to be in my previous blog post The birth of my first book.

Here Comes the Weekend- P!nk

Lyrics: Drink some pink champagne
I don’t know you yet
But we’ll forget
So, fuck what they say
Let the rum flow until it rains

I’ve always been a huge fan of P!nk, so I knew I wanted one of her songs as inspiration in my first book. This song summed up how it feels to be at the end of the semester and have your whole summer break ahead of you. The freedom.

Uncomfortable- Halestorm

Lyrics: I did it all to break
every single preconceived notion that you have
I did it all to shake
every single one of your emotions and just to make you
Uncomfortable

This song is very much from Xander’s point of view, and the concept of sometimes enjoying making others feel uncomfortable. I don’t think being uncomfortable is always a bad thing. Sometimes, in order to break outside of your preconceived notions, you have to pushed from your comfort zone. That’s what this song is about. Xander’s blatant flirting with Gabriel made Gabriel feel uncomfortable in the best kind of way.

Colors- Halsey

Lyrics: Everything is gray
His hair, his smoke, his dreams
And now he so devoid of color
He don’t know what it means
And he’s blue

There was something about this song that seemed so fucking perfect for this chapter, and I’m not exactly sure what it is. I think it’s the idea that when you’re upset, you kind of start seeing the world in blues and grays. They were both struggling in this chapter.

Hungry Eyes- Eric Carmen

Lyrics: With these hungry eyes
One look at you and I can’t disguise
I’ve got hungry eyes
I feel the magic between you and I

This is a very obvious nod to the most classic movie about a summer romance, Dirty Dancing. When I was writing this chapter, this is the only song that was playing through my head. I was just perfect. It really summed up that summer feeling of falling in love for the first time. The innocence. This chapter was huge in the development of their relationship, so I felt this song fit for that reason.

Talk Fast- 5 Seconds of Summer

Lyrics: Leave all of your indecisions with you at home
Don’t say you’re doing me a favor
Why so complicated, won’t you throw me a bone?
I want your love in every flavor

5 Seconds of Summer is probably my favorite band of all time, so they needed to be in this playlist somewhere. I remember being obsessed with their album, Youngblood, which featured this song. It’s the epitome of a summer fling song for me. The push and pull of being in a confusing relationship with no solid ground beneath your feet. There is a begging quality to this song. Like they are begging to be given a chance or maybe just some clarity, but they will take the night.

Let’s See What the Night Can Do- Jason Mraz

Lyrics: I wanna get lost with you
And hide out, out under the light of the moon
I wanna get lost with you
And see what it’s like to spend the whole night
With you, just you
You, just you

This is probably one of my favorite chapters of the entire book. This song is almost whimsical, for me. Like living in a dream. Getting lost with the person you may or may not be falling for and just taking that night to forget all your worries. This is the chapter where Gabriel gives into his feelings for Xander and takes the first real step in solidifying their relationship. Of course, he doesn’t say that. 

1950- King Princess

Lyrics: So tell me why my gods look like you
Tell me why it’s wrong
So I’ll wait for you, I’ll pray
I will keep on waiting for your love

I really felt this song summed up where Xander’s headspace is in this chapter. He knows that Gabriel loves him, but he also knows that Gabriel isn’t ready to admit it out loud yet. He is willing to wait, though. He is going to be patient for Gabriel. There is also another line that really stands out ‘I love it when we play 1950’ which is very clearly a nod to the years where gay romances weren’t accepted in society, so a lot of times gay people were forced to hide their love from the world. This is the first time in the book where they really hid their relationship from the people around them.

Delicate- Janet Devlin

Lyrics: The closer I get to your paper heart; And the tighter I hold on
Gently covered in paper cuts; I’m more stubborn than some
You’re like the first day of winter; Everyday day of the year
‘Cause you’re  too scared to let me in; Never close only near
I’m just delicate, just a little more delicate than you

The title of this song really summed up the entire chapter. I wanted this chapter to feel like everything was somewhat hanging in the balance, and there is a ticking clock over the reader’s head. Gabriel also decided he was going to start pulling away in this chapter, but we all know how stubborn Xander can be.

Eavesdrop- The Civil Wars

Lyrics: Oh, don’t say that it’s over
Oh, no, say it ain’t so
Let the stars watch, let them stare
Let the wind eavesdrop, I don’t care
For all that we’ve got, don’t let go
Just hold me

This is a devastatingly beautiful song. It’s giving yourself over to someone even though you know you plan to leave. It’s pretending that you’re not and allowing them to comfort you, if it’s only for the night. You know it’s your last night with them, and you just don’t care who’s watching. You’re going to spend it how you want, but it’s so very bittersweet.

It Only Hurts When I’m Breathing- Shania Twain

Lyrics: It only hurts when I’m breathing
My heart only breaks when it’s beating
My dreams only die when I’m dreaming
So I hold my breath, to forget
It only hurts when I breathe.

This song is so heartbreaking. It is the ultimate breakup song, and I decided Xander had to sing it on stage. Everyone has experienced the kind of pain where it hurts to breathe, and you just don’t want to anymore. Your entire being hurts because you’re missing someone. This song is so underrated.

Collide- Howie Day

Lyrics: Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

I think this is pretty self explanatory, and in a lot of ways, from the point of view of Gabriel. He says he feels like he can’t stop thinking about Xander, that he can’t stop himself from being with him. He wants it, and they were always meant to collide.

The Promise- Sturgill Simpson

Lyrics: I’m sorry but I’m just thinking of the right words to say
I know they don’t sound the way I planned them to be
But if you wait around a while, I’ll make you fall for me
I promise, I promise you I will

This was actually my wedding song, so I knew I wanted it to be the last chapter of this book. The one on the playlist is actually a cover. I don’t really like the original. I love the way Sturgill Simpson slowed it down and managed to bring so much meaning to the lyrics. A promise you make to someone. It’s beautiful, and I knew it would be perfect for the final chapter. 

There you have it! A small glimpse into my musical mind. As you can probably tell, my music taste is all over the place. I have put it on two different platforms so you can listen on Spotify or on Youtube. This playlist includes a little bit of everything. Was there a song on this playlist that you wish I talked about? If so, please feel free to message me on one of my social media sites below. I would be happy to explain why I chose a particular song. As always, thank you for reading my ramblings.

How to Overcome Writer’s Block: 10 Tips

Every writer experiences writer’s block at some point or another in their career. Even if you write poetry, research papers, short stories, or full-length novels, you will encounter this particular problem.

Here are my 10 tips for overcoming writer’s block:

1. Figure out why

This is simple but very complicated at the same time. Why are you stuck? What is it about the scene that has you blocked? Is it the content? The subject matter? Is it something you are uncomfortable writing? Maybe it’s new for you, and deep down, you’re afraid you will mess it up. Often, when I am stuck, I find that it may be a scene that I was dreading writing. Once you figure out why, then the rest of this advice may come easier. 

2. Keep writing

I know this one sounds simple, but it’s effective. Even if you think what you’re writing is utter shit, get it on the page. Force yourself to write something, even if it’s only a couple hundred words. You can always go back and rework it. You may even like what you wrote once you take some time away from it. 

3. Talk to a friend

If I’m stuck on something, I talk to my friend(s) or significant others about it. They need to know your piece’s plot in great detail, so I typically ask my beta or editor. I’ve found that bouncing ideas off of them helps me in many ways: 

-It gets the creative juices flowing.
-It makes me excited to be writing it again. 
-Sometimes, the person I’m talking to has excellent ideas to add.

4. Go out

I know this has become increasingly difficult with current COVID-19 measures in place, but go for a walk. Sometimes fresh air and a change of scenery are all you need. 

5. Change your scenery

Just like number 4, this has become difficult due to current COVID-19 restrictions. If you write on a laptop or with a pen and a piece of paper, take it somewhere else. Go sit out on your porch, or find the corner of a local book/coffee place. Just wear a mask! 

6. Do what inspires you

This is largely dependent on the individual writer. What inspires me may not inspire you. Personally, I draw a lot of inspiration for my writing from music. I find songs that remind me of the current book I’m working on, or I listen to a playlist that I love. 

7. Write something else

If you are on a deadline, this may feel like the worst advice ever, but it does help. Even if you skip to a different scene in the same piece or change paths entirely and work on a short story. There is a slippery slope, though. You don’t want to allow yourself to get too distracted, then end up with a ridiculous amount of unfinished works. We can revisit staying on track later if you’d like.

8. Take a break

It could be something small like watching an episode of your favorite TV show, wasting an hour on TikTok, or playing a game on your phone (my current favorite is Harry Potter: Puzzles and Spells). Taking a break gives your mind a chance to rest. 

9. Read something

Reading your favorite book or even something new can inspire you in your work. Reading other pieces inspires me to get better in my own books. 

10. Sleep on it

This doesn’t mean that you should stop thinking about it for 24 hours. This advice is the opposite. It’s best if you are thinking about it. Sometimes, I will contemplate it for a few days and slowly work it out in my head. 

Like I’ve said before, these may not work for everyone. This is just some of the things that I do when I’m struggling with writers block. If you have your own, feel free to message me on my social media platforms below!

Outlining 101- 10 Tips for Outlining a Book

I want to start by saying that everyone is different. What works for me will not work for everyone. Your writing style is your own, and you should be proud of it. This is just how I outline a book and in no way reflect the ‘correct way’ because there simply is no such a thing. With that being said, I hope this may help writers in the beginning stages of their careers.

So these are my 10 tips for outlining a book:

1. Have an idea for a book

I know this sounds stupid. You’re probably like, “well, duh,” but you’d be surprised how many people want to write a full-length book without having an actual idea for one. Make sure your concept is feasible and within your writing ability. I think you should challenge yourself, but if this is your first book, you don’t want to make it unattainable and out of your current capabilities.

2. Don’t start making the outline right away

I know this one is difficult because you’re so excited you have this brilliant idea. I urge you to not start writing your outline right away, but just start writing lists.

  • Make a list of themes you want to flow throughout (an example of this is in Cool for the Summer, a theme throughout the book’s entirety was Gabriel’s struggle with his sexuality). The themes need to weave throughout the entire book/series. They are something you will keep in mind as your writing, and you need all of your themes to be cohesive to the overall story arch.
  • Start thinking of various scenes you would like to be incorporated and write them down, but don’t put them in order. For example, the first scene in Cool for the Summer that I thought of was when Gabriel saw Xander dancing. The second scene I thought of was the baseball game, which came much later in the story.
  • Music- I usually have a list of songs that have given me inspiration for a chapter or an entire book. I make a Spotify playlist for each of my full-length-books. You can use any music platform like Spotify, Apple Music, or even YouTube.

3. Characterizations

Have a character profile in mind for your main characters. Some people have pages and pages of information about their characters. In contrast, others just have who they are in their head and somehow manage to remember (I’m the ladder, if you’re wondering). I do recommend writing it down, though, because the characterization is critical. You don’t want your protagonist to do something entirely out of character unless they have an excellent reason for it. To make this easier, create a list of characteristics, including physical appearance, personality, mental health, likes/dislikes, sayings, etc. You want them to be a person. I love all of my characters like they are people because they are to me.

4. Put your existing scenes in order

This is where the actual outlining begins. Now that you have some settings (or several) in mind, you can start putting them in order by chapter. The way I like to outline my books is chapter by chapter, then scene by scene.

Example:

Chapter 1- Title
-Scene 1- Description- Whos POV (Point of View) it is in
-Scene 2- Description- Who’s POV it is in
Chapter 2- Title

5. The Order

The order of the scenes and chapters is critical. This will set the whole tone of the book and the story arc. You cannot have the story climax too early, but you also don’t want to draw it out. It can be a very fine line and gets even more complicated with a series.

6. It can be unfinished

Your outline does not have to be finished at first, and it is ever-changing and evolving. You have no idea how many of my outlines say “Idk, something gross and fluffy” instead of an actual idea for a scene. It’s okay, as long as you have a general idea of what should be there.

7. Foreshadowing

The reason why having an outline is so important is because of foreshadowing. To foreshadow appropriately, you have to know where your book is going. You can always go back and add a foreshadowing moment during one of your re-reads or edits.

8. Chronological Order

I, personally, write all of my books in chronological order. I never skip a scene or move to a different one, then come back if I’m stuck. The way you read the book is the order in which I write it in. Again, I want to stress that this is different for everyone. There is no right or wrong way to write a book. This is just how my mind works. Jumping around while writing, for me, is confusing. I find that there are more inconsistencies and plot holes in my rough draft if I do it this way. I know a lot of successful authors that write scenes as they come. They may start off writing the book in the last chapter. This is all personal preference. 

9. Talk to someone

I really like planning my books with my betas or even talk to my husband or girlfriend about the plot or ideas for a scene. I use them as a sounding board. Sometimes they have really unique suggestions that I would have never thought about if we hadn’t been brainstorming together.

10. The Ending

The last chapter is often the scariest and most critical. You, as the writer, have a lot of choices. Do you want it to end happily? Sad? Ambiguous? Do you want it to be bittersweet? Do you want there to be a nice little bow where all the loose ends are intertwined? This is up to you, and you don’t have to know that at the very beginning. This is just something to think about, especially when it comes to foreshadowing.

I hope you found this interesting and maybe helpful. Again, I would like to say that this is how I approach book writing. If you do not approach it this way, that is perfectly fine. The way you do it is amazing for you! Do what works. Feel free to use all of these ideas or pick the ones you think may work best for your personality or writing style.

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