How to Write Dialogue- Seven Tips

Oftentimes, dialogue is the most difficult thing to write. It’s hard to make it sound realistic and relatable. As writers, we are told not to write like we speak however, that is difficult when writing dialogue. I get asked a lot how to write it and if I have any tips for people who are trying to write good dialogue. Below are my seven tips to writing dialogue. Yes, seven. I’ve never really liked even numbers.

Write First; Fill in Later

If I have a dialogue based scene or if the dialogue is super fucking important in a particular scene, I always write the dialogue first then fill in the details later. I also call this “bare boning” because it’s essentially the skeleton of the scene, then I add the meat later. I feel this helps me keep their conversation more organic and flow more naturally because I’m not having to constantly pause my thought or the conversation in my head to write what they are doing, physically.

Read it Out Loud

Reading it out loud helps me make sure it sounds organic. I know, personally, I have a habit of never using contractions when I write, but they are absolutely necessary in dialogue. Reading it out loud or to someone else will show any awkward phrases.

Don’t Write like you Speak

I know this may be controversial. My argument is that you aren’t your characters (not really). They probably speak a bit differently than you. They have different experiences. They grew up with different influences than you. They may not even be your age, which means they will probably use different types of slang terminology. Write like your character speaks, not how you speak.

Dialect (AKA Accents)

 I have written characters with a southern US accent, and although you can hear it in all of their words (if they were to really speak which they do in my head), I only select a few words to show their accent in the way they talk. Like, instead of dropping all ‘g’s’ on words ending in ‘ing’, I’ll choose one or two to drop in the sentence. I also try to get creative with it. I show their accent or where they are from in the words/phrases they use. Someone from the Sothern US may use phrases like ‘lick of sense’ or ‘down yonder’ while someone from the UK may say ‘lads’ or ‘mates’ instead of friends.

Don’t Write Small Talk

Your reader doesn’t give a single fuck how the weather unless it is pivotal to the plot. If there is a scene with dialogue, every single bit of it should be pivotal to the plot in some way whether it is a reveal or moving it along. If there isn’t a reason for the dialogue, then do not write it. It gets boring.

If it can be Said in Dialogue, Wait Until Dialogue to Say It

Do not reveal anything in the inner monologue. Anything. This keeps your readers guessing about certain character traits. Does your character have a secret? Don’t reveal it until he says it outload. Is the mother of your heroine dead? Let her reveal that information to someone in dialogue. This helps limit the inner monologue your characters have and keeps the readers more in the moment. It also helps you bridge various conversations to one another so you don’t have random spurts to dialogue.

Avoid Long Text of Dialogue

I know this is sometimes difficult if one character is doing most of the talking. I like to break it up with questions. Let me use my two main characters in the Take me to Church Series as my example. If Harlan is telling Luka his story (he does eventually) it would make sense for Harlan to be speaking a lot in that scene. I break it up by having Luka ask him questions and contribute to the conversation.

I hope this was helpful to you in someway! Please let me know if you have any request on other author tips. Come chat with me on my social medias below. I just posted a video on my Instagram where I read the blurb of my book, Cool for the Summer, in a very dramatic way. I plan to continue this series, so come say hello!

Writing Polyamory: 10 Things to Consider

When I tell people that I am in a polyamorous relationship, I usually get a ton of questions. I welcome them though and have never been shy with my answers. Most of the questions involve jealousy and what happens in the bedroom, whether that means sleeping arrangements or threesomes.

I have been in a polyamorous relationship for quite some time now. My husband and I wanted an open relationship from the moment we met almost 10 years ago. I’m bisexual, and I didn’t want to give up that aspect of my identity. He didn’t want me to either, so we decided an open relationship would be best for us.

Polyamory often gets confused with polygamy, but they are different. Polyamory typically encompasses a broader scope of practice while polygamy just refers to the practice of one person marrying multiple partners. Polyamory is practiced between consenting adults. If a person cheats on another, then that does not mean they are polyamorous.

I realize a lot of people want to write about an open relationship but may not know the logistics of it. There are also a lot of factors at play that I think most people just don’t even consider. So here are 10 things to consider while writing a polyamorous relationship.

Terminology

There is a lot of terminology within the poly community. I would recommend looking at the Poly Glossary for more explanation. Mostly what I wanted to point out was the difference between a V and a Triangle in the poly community. A “V” relationship is when a person A and person B are dating, but then person B has some type of relationship with person C, but A and C don’t have any kind of relationship. A triangle is when Persons A, B, and C are all in a mutual relationship. I made diagrams! You’ll find those are very helpful later.

Why?

If you’re going to write your characters engaged in a polyamorous relationship, perhaps it’s a good idea to answer why. Why are they opening their relationship? Is it because one of them is bisexual or pansexual and they want to explore? Are they trying to spice things up? Have they met a mutual friend in which they are both interested in? If that’s the case, then you may also want to think about how they may approach the subject both with each other and their friend. 

Jealousy

I get this question all the time. “Don’t you get jealous over the fact that your husband is fucking someone else?” and my answer is always “Meh” with a shrug. I know I’m in the minority here, but I have never been an overly jealous person. It’s just not who I am. I firmly believe that humans are capable of loving more than one person at one time. Poly isn’t right for everyone. If you or your character is a jealous person, you may want to reconsider unless certain circumstances arise. I can talk about those in a different blog post if you would like. 

Rules

I don’t know if this is standard for all poly couples, but I know my husband I had discussed rules when we first opened our relationship. Maybe there is a rule where the new person never sleeps over. Like any healthy relationship, establishing rules and boundaries is very important. 

Differing Personalities

This is something I’ve found a lot of people don’t even think about. Having a relationship with one person is hard enough, especially when you are trying to learn who they are and balance it with who you are. There is a lot of push and pull, then when you add another person to that, it sometimes makes things unequal. Two of the people in the relationship could feed off each other. When one is in a bad mood, it may make the other in a bad mood, which leaves the third feeling trapped in the middle. Take into consideration the characterizations of your main characters and how they may interact. Are they even compatible as a triad?

Sex

This is typically the question I get asked most often. It’s usually only after they worked up the courage, but that’s okay. I will probably write an entire blog based on triad sex scenes, but I will go over the basics here. Keep track of body parts. Plan various positions for them to try. The most important one, though, is understanding it should not be perfect by any stretch of the imagination. The reality is, you spend most of your first threesome feeling awkward and giggling. It’s a logistical nightmare, after all, and you don’t want anyone to fill left out. So please, if you’re writing a threesome, do not make it perfect because that’s simply unrealistic. 

Communication

Like any relationship, communication is ridiculously important. Feeling jealous? Talk about it. Feeling nervous? Communicate that. 

Children

This obviously won’t apply to every book, but I thought it should be said. Perhaps the original couple has a child. As a writer, you have to consider how the child will react to this. How will the parents handle it? It will depend on the age of the child, but it is definitely something to consider. 

The Little Things

This pertains to all the small details that most people wouldn’t think of. Like the fact that most toothbrush packages only come in numbers divisible by two. That is frustrating for triad couples. Sleeping arrangements. Do they switch off? All sleep together in one big ass bed? Little things like this will make your story more organic. 

What’s Wrong With More Love?

A lot of people just can’t seem to fathom how I would be okay with all of this. Perhaps you have a side character in your book with a similar viewpoint. When asked that question, my answer is always very simple: What’s wrong with more love?

Well, I hope you enjoyed this! Please let me know if you’re interested in more information about poly relationships. If you would like to discuss any of this with me, follow me on my social medias below. If you enjoyed this work, consider donating to my career by buying me a coffee.

Choreographing Smut: 10 Tips for Writing Sex Scenes

First I would like to start with a disclaimer. This blog post is going to be 18+. It will contain adult content and somewhat explicit words/imagery. If this makes you uncomfortable in any way, please do not proceed. You can check out my other blogs, they are a bit more tame, yet informative. 

Also note that I primarily write mlm romance, but a lot of these suggestions work for all romance genres. I’ve written a variety of different types of pairings including mlm, flf, heterosexual, and threesomes. I have also written many different sexual situations and scenes including BDSM. That is a topic for a different day, though. If you would like to see a blog post about BDSM smut specifically, leave a like or come visit me on any of my social media platforms!  

I think it goes without saying that the amount of detail you put into your smut scenes is up to you and your target audience. If it’s erotica, I think a lot of detail is called for. I personally like a lot of detail anyway, but some people prefer to just focus on the emotional aspect rather than the physical. If you are one of those people, then that is perfectly fine and acceptable. 

Choreography

Keep in mind that writing smut is like choreographing a dance. I am not a dancer, but to me it is a similar concept. Smut is all about movement, knowing where the bodies are, how the limbs are moving, and the feeling you get from it. It’s about movements and shapes. The beat of their hearts serves at the rhythm for their bodies. It’s a dance between two people but they aren’t always doing the same steps or even listening to the same song.

Map The Scene

I know I say something like this in every single blog post, but it’s important to have a plan. I’m not saying you should know every detail, but I find it really helps me if I have a general idea of what is going to happen and sometimes why it needs to happen. This could be something as simple as knowing which positions I want them in while writing the scene. 

Why?

This isn’t always necessary, depending on the type of the smut that you’re writing. If you are just going for erotica, then it may not actually matter why, but if you’re writing a romance novel with a plot and character development, then the why will matter. Are they hate fucking? Is it make up sex? Is it the couple’s first time? Is one of them a virgin? Does one of them need to be comforted? If so, how does that change their dynamic in the scene?

The Five Senses

This is important when writing anything really, but it is especially important while writing smut. Don’t forget to use every sense. Do their lips taste sweet like vanilla or minty like toothpaste? Does their heartbeat sound erratic? Does their skin feel sweaty? Does their hair look messy or disheveled? Does the bed smell like them or does the room just smell like sex?

Clothes

This one sounds kind of ridiculous, but you have no idea how many times I’ve been reading a smut scene and suddenly they are both naked, but I have no idea how it happened. Don’t forget that they are probably wearing clothes in the beginning of the scene, even if it’s just underwear. If they are both fully dressed, don’t forget about the little things like socks and shoes. Those things don’t just disappear. It could be just something as easy as adding a line about how they both got fully undressed.

Surroundings

Very similar to clothes, as a writer, you cannot forget about their surroundings. Are they in a bedroom? Are the lights off? Did they need to turn them on? Are they in the bathroom of a nightclub? Describe these things. If they are in the bathroom of a night club, then things may be rushed, and you’ll have to describe things like the dull thud of the music. If they are in a bedroom, they can take their time. Does one of them have a condom? Are they using a condom? If not, has it already been established why? If you’re writing mlm, where is the lube? Do they have it in the drawer or in a packet in their pocket? If the writer forgets these things, it can be jarring for the reader. A condom doesn’t just suddenly appear on a cock. All it takes is a sentence to eliminate confusion.

Feelings

This could be both physical and emotional. If one of the people in the scene is a virgin, it may be painful for them at first. This experience is new for them, so you have to try to describe it from the point of view of someone who hasn’t ever had these experiences before. As far as emotional feelings go, that depends on where you are in the story and what was happening before the scene takes place. Just keep in mind where your characters are mentally as well as physically.

Dirty Talk

I love dirty talk, but write it only if you’re comfortable doing so. I think dirty talk makes the scene so much hotter, but I also try to keep it in character. If one of your characters is a virgin, then they may not dirty talk as much because they aren’t comfortable. Writing their reaction as the other person dirty talks is always fun though.

Don’t Rush It

Ultimately, it’s your choice on how detailed, long, and graphic you want the smut scene to be, but I prefer mine not to be rushed. I don’t think you should spend 15,000 words droning on and on about how his cock is throbbing, but don’t be afraid to write good, detailed smut scenes, especially if it is meant to be an emotional one. It’s not just about the physical act, but the emotional one as well. Yes, sometimes smut is just smut, but sometimes it needs to be more. Rushing it can take away from what sex is supposed to be: a connection with another person. 

Well that’s all I have for today. I could probably come up with more, but this is the foundation. If you would like, in future blogs, I can write tips for smut in different categories like public sex, quick and dirty, BDSM, long and loving, etc. I want to write what you think is helpful as a writer yourself. If you have any suggestions, you can email me or contact me on any of my social media platforms listed below!

How to Overcome Writer’s Block: 10 Tips

Every writer experiences writer’s block at some point or another in their career. Even if you write poetry, research papers, short stories, or full-length novels, you will encounter this particular problem.

Here are my 10 tips for overcoming writer’s block:

1. Figure out why

This is simple but very complicated at the same time. Why are you stuck? What is it about the scene that has you blocked? Is it the content? The subject matter? Is it something you are uncomfortable writing? Maybe it’s new for you, and deep down, you’re afraid you will mess it up. Often, when I am stuck, I find that it may be a scene that I was dreading writing. Once you figure out why, then the rest of this advice may come easier. 

2. Keep writing

I know this one sounds simple, but it’s effective. Even if you think what you’re writing is utter shit, get it on the page. Force yourself to write something, even if it’s only a couple hundred words. You can always go back and rework it. You may even like what you wrote once you take some time away from it. 

3. Talk to a friend

If I’m stuck on something, I talk to my friend(s) or significant others about it. They need to know your piece’s plot in great detail, so I typically ask my beta or editor. I’ve found that bouncing ideas off of them helps me in many ways: 

-It gets the creative juices flowing.
-It makes me excited to be writing it again. 
-Sometimes, the person I’m talking to has excellent ideas to add.

4. Go out

I know this has become increasingly difficult with current COVID-19 measures in place, but go for a walk. Sometimes fresh air and a change of scenery are all you need. 

5. Change your scenery

Just like number 4, this has become difficult due to current COVID-19 restrictions. If you write on a laptop or with a pen and a piece of paper, take it somewhere else. Go sit out on your porch, or find the corner of a local book/coffee place. Just wear a mask! 

6. Do what inspires you

This is largely dependent on the individual writer. What inspires me may not inspire you. Personally, I draw a lot of inspiration for my writing from music. I find songs that remind me of the current book I’m working on, or I listen to a playlist that I love. 

7. Write something else

If you are on a deadline, this may feel like the worst advice ever, but it does help. Even if you skip to a different scene in the same piece or change paths entirely and work on a short story. There is a slippery slope, though. You don’t want to allow yourself to get too distracted, then end up with a ridiculous amount of unfinished works. We can revisit staying on track later if you’d like.

8. Take a break

It could be something small like watching an episode of your favorite TV show, wasting an hour on TikTok, or playing a game on your phone (my current favorite is Harry Potter: Puzzles and Spells). Taking a break gives your mind a chance to rest. 

9. Read something

Reading your favorite book or even something new can inspire you in your work. Reading other pieces inspires me to get better in my own books. 

10. Sleep on it

This doesn’t mean that you should stop thinking about it for 24 hours. This advice is the opposite. It’s best if you are thinking about it. Sometimes, I will contemplate it for a few days and slowly work it out in my head. 

Like I’ve said before, these may not work for everyone. This is just some of the things that I do when I’m struggling with writers block. If you have your own, feel free to message me on my social media platforms below!

Outlining 101- 10 Tips for Outlining a Book

I want to start by saying that everyone is different. What works for me will not work for everyone. Your writing style is your own, and you should be proud of it. This is just how I outline a book and in no way reflect the ‘correct way’ because there simply is no such a thing. With that being said, I hope this may help writers in the beginning stages of their careers.

So these are my 10 tips for outlining a book:

1. Have an idea for a book

I know this sounds stupid. You’re probably like, “well, duh,” but you’d be surprised how many people want to write a full-length book without having an actual idea for one. Make sure your concept is feasible and within your writing ability. I think you should challenge yourself, but if this is your first book, you don’t want to make it unattainable and out of your current capabilities.

2. Don’t start making the outline right away

I know this one is difficult because you’re so excited you have this brilliant idea. I urge you to not start writing your outline right away, but just start writing lists.

  • Make a list of themes you want to flow throughout (an example of this is in Cool for the Summer, a theme throughout the book’s entirety was Gabriel’s struggle with his sexuality). The themes need to weave throughout the entire book/series. They are something you will keep in mind as your writing, and you need all of your themes to be cohesive to the overall story arch.
  • Start thinking of various scenes you would like to be incorporated and write them down, but don’t put them in order. For example, the first scene in Cool for the Summer that I thought of was when Gabriel saw Xander dancing. The second scene I thought of was the baseball game, which came much later in the story.
  • Music- I usually have a list of songs that have given me inspiration for a chapter or an entire book. I make a Spotify playlist for each of my full-length-books. You can use any music platform like Spotify, Apple Music, or even YouTube.

3. Characterizations

Have a character profile in mind for your main characters. Some people have pages and pages of information about their characters. In contrast, others just have who they are in their head and somehow manage to remember (I’m the ladder, if you’re wondering). I do recommend writing it down, though, because the characterization is critical. You don’t want your protagonist to do something entirely out of character unless they have an excellent reason for it. To make this easier, create a list of characteristics, including physical appearance, personality, mental health, likes/dislikes, sayings, etc. You want them to be a person. I love all of my characters like they are people because they are to me.

4. Put your existing scenes in order

This is where the actual outlining begins. Now that you have some settings (or several) in mind, you can start putting them in order by chapter. The way I like to outline my books is chapter by chapter, then scene by scene.

Example:

Chapter 1- Title
-Scene 1- Description- Whos POV (Point of View) it is in
-Scene 2- Description- Who’s POV it is in
Chapter 2- Title

5. The Order

The order of the scenes and chapters is critical. This will set the whole tone of the book and the story arc. You cannot have the story climax too early, but you also don’t want to draw it out. It can be a very fine line and gets even more complicated with a series.

6. It can be unfinished

Your outline does not have to be finished at first, and it is ever-changing and evolving. You have no idea how many of my outlines say “Idk, something gross and fluffy” instead of an actual idea for a scene. It’s okay, as long as you have a general idea of what should be there.

7. Foreshadowing

The reason why having an outline is so important is because of foreshadowing. To foreshadow appropriately, you have to know where your book is going. You can always go back and add a foreshadowing moment during one of your re-reads or edits.

8. Chronological Order

I, personally, write all of my books in chronological order. I never skip a scene or move to a different one, then come back if I’m stuck. The way you read the book is the order in which I write it in. Again, I want to stress that this is different for everyone. There is no right or wrong way to write a book. This is just how my mind works. Jumping around while writing, for me, is confusing. I find that there are more inconsistencies and plot holes in my rough draft if I do it this way. I know a lot of successful authors that write scenes as they come. They may start off writing the book in the last chapter. This is all personal preference. 

9. Talk to someone

I really like planning my books with my betas or even talk to my husband or girlfriend about the plot or ideas for a scene. I use them as a sounding board. Sometimes they have really unique suggestions that I would have never thought about if we hadn’t been brainstorming together.

10. The Ending

The last chapter is often the scariest and most critical. You, as the writer, have a lot of choices. Do you want it to end happily? Sad? Ambiguous? Do you want it to be bittersweet? Do you want there to be a nice little bow where all the loose ends are intertwined? This is up to you, and you don’t have to know that at the very beginning. This is just something to think about, especially when it comes to foreshadowing.

I hope you found this interesting and maybe helpful. Again, I would like to say that this is how I approach book writing. If you do not approach it this way, that is perfectly fine. The way you do it is amazing for you! Do what works. Feel free to use all of these ideas or pick the ones you think may work best for your personality or writing style.

Follow me on Social Media!